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Hollyleaf Speaks

This a fanfiction short story written by myself WhiteTiger. It is written in a similar style to the short story by Victoria Holmes 'Spottedleaf's Honest Answer' (View or Download it here).

I decided to write this as I always felt sorry for Hollyleaf, she has suffered and is often perceived as bad, when she wasn't. So this story is her story from her perspective.

Download (.Doc Format):
Hollyleaf Speaks

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Oh hello Fallen Leaves, I didn’t notice you. Sometimes I forget I am not the only one stuck down here. Did you want something? My story? I never did tell you. Ok, but it isn’t a short one, but I suppose I can share, I have the time after all. Was that a laugh? Well enjoy it now, you won’t be getting anymore laughs from this story.

Ok so where to begin? I suppose when I was an Apprentice. I assume you know about the way the Clans work? No? Well that is a story for another time, so you will just have to do your best to understand.

Back then I was happy, ignorant but happy. I was a normal Apprentice, me and my brothers Lionpaw and Jaypaw were very close and looked out for each other. You met Jaypaw? Well it seems you have stories to share as well, but for now listen to mine.

How innocent we were, but that soon changed. Jaypaw soon learned he possessed a certain gift, he could walk in the dreams of other cats, he didn’t understand why at first, but one night his curiosity took him too far. Jaypaw was never the most considerate cat, and without thinking about the consequences he decided to enter the dreams of our Clan Leader Firestar. This action was the beginning of something huge, and the end of our normal lives, never again would we be able to live as care-free Apprentices.

Why? Well what Jaypaw saw when he entered Firestar’s dream that night was Firestar talking to a cat none of us knew and I still don’t know who it was, but I don’t care about that. The cat told Firestar a prophecy, a prophecy of three, three cats who would hold the power of the stars in their paws.

"There will be three, the kin of the kin of the one with fire in his pelt, who will hold the power of the stars in their paws."

Our mother was Squirrelflight, or so we believed at the time... Ha! But I will get to that later. Squirrelflight’s father is Firestar, so that means me, Jaypaw and Lionpaw were three, who were kin of his kin.

Jaypaw told us about what he had learned, and at first we couldn’t believe it, even if the prophecy was real, how could it be us? We weren’t special! Or at least I wasn’t.... Sorry, you’ll understand soon. But we soon started to change our minds, Jaypaw had already showed he was gifted with special powers; he had a strong connection with StarClan and could walk in other cats dreams. Shortly after Lionpaw started to see that he was gifted too, he had been through several fights but never been injured. We had considered this as luck, but we soon realised that it was actually his power, he couldn’t be hurt in battle! Pretty cool right? This was all like some weird dream, but I still didn’t know what my power could be. Ha! How naive I was.

After that we continued to try and live our normal lives, but we knew we weren’t normal like everyone else. We wanted to learn more, what was our destiny? Why us? What were we suppose to do?

We didn’t learn anything for a while, but then a stranger appeared, Sol, a strange cat who called himself a ‘traveller’. He seemed friendly enough, but looks can be deceiving. He came to tell us that the sun would disappear... That’s mouse-brained? Well we thought so too. But that wasn’t all he said, he knew about the prophecy! How did he know? I don’t know! But he left before telling us anything important, and we forgot about him for a while.

One day WindClan attacked us! It was a horrible fight, RiverClan joined WindClan, and we would have been destroyed if ShadowClan didn’t come and help us. Why did they attack? ThunderClan is the best Clan, and no I am not just being bias. Firestar has saved the Clans many times, and he has accepted some outsiders into the Clan, and the other Clans thought it only pure Clan cats should be in the Clans. Yes they are mouse-brains!

But the battle went on and we were losing, until the sun actually disappeared! Everyone was afraid, we thought it was a sign from StarClan saying the fight would stop. Was it actually a sign? I don’t know! But whatever reason it disappeared it saved us! But this left us with a question. How did Sol know it would happen? Jaypaw fascinated in Sol after that, he wanted to know how he knew it would happen, but more importantly, if he was right about that, then maybe he really did know more about the prophecy.

We crept out of camp to find him, we needed to know the truth! We found him, we talked and he agreed to mentor us and help us with the prophecy. We couldn’t refuse; he was the only one who could help us!

But we were wrong to trust him. He left us! Even after promising to be our mentor! He went to ShadowClan and almost destroyed them! He convinced Blackstar to give up his already shaken faith in StarClan. But after a sigh from StarClan, with a little help from ThunderClan he regained his faith and kicked Sol out. We didn’t trust him after that, even if he knew about the prophecy!

Things continued as they were for a while after that, we continued as we had, trying to love normal Clan lives. Me and Lionpaw became Warrior’s, my Warrior name was Hollyleaf and his was Lionblaze. Jaypaw became Jayfeather in his own Medicine Cat ceremony. We began our new Warrior duties still unknowing of what our true destiny was.

HA! Destiny what a funny thing! Lionblaze and Jayfeather may have an important destiny, but mine, mine, mine! The Prophecy? The Warrior Code? Clan Loyalty? What does that even mean anymore? What am I talking about? HA! You will learn soon enough.

Fire! The camp on fire, what a scary thought right? Well that is what happened, the whole camp caught fire. But that isn’t what scared me the most that day, no, the fire was nothing, I may have physically survived that fire, but part of me died that day. What happened? Be quiet and I will tell you!

Me, Lionblaze and Jayfeather were caught in the fire, but thanks to Lionblaze, who use to sneak out of camp. Why did he sneak out? He wasn’t always an obedient Warrior, he has got into his fair share of trouble, but that isn’t a story to tell now. Now, where was I? Yes that’s right, he knew a secret escape route from camp, as the main entrance was blocked by the fire. We climbed up the side of the gorge and almost escaped to safety, almost.......

We got to the top and we faced another wall of fire, thinking quickly we managed to find a log and make a bridge through the fire, but before we could cross to safety, we met Ashfur... Did he help us? Ha! Help us? Help us? No, he didn’t help us.

Ashfur had always loved Squirrelflight, and he hated her for choosing Brambleclaw as a mate instead of him, he wanted revenge, he wanted to make her suffer! What did he do? Well we were her Kits weren’t we? What better way to make her suffer than letting her Kits die! He stood at the end of the log and refused to let us pass, he wanted us to die to hurt Squirrelflight. That’s horrible? I suppose it was, but I haven’t finished yet!

Can you guess who found us next? Good guess, yes Squirrelflight herself. She looked as afraid as us when she saw what was happening, and Ashfur, his eyes when he saw her.... I don’t like to remember... Well Squirrelflight panicked, she wanted to save us, although maybe it would have been better if she hadn’t...... Why do I say that? Listen and maybe you will understand! Now she had to act quickly, she could not overpower Ashfur and he refused to let us pass, he was ready to let her watch us die in front of her. So she did all she could think of, she told him something that gave him another way to hurt her.

What was it? She told him..she told him that we were not her Kits! We could not believe what we heard, it must have been a lie right? No, she told the truth! Ashfur let us pass, knowing he could reveal her secret and make her lose everything, Brambleclaw would hate her, and no one would trust her again, or that is what he thought would happen.

What I learnt that day hurt me more than the fire ever could have, she had lied to us all along. We wanted to know the truth, Who was our really parents? Why did she lie? Do you think she told us? No! She didn’t tell us anything!

We moved on, but me, Jayfeather and Lionblaze were never as close as we once were. Were we even kin? We didn’t know. All I could trust was my faith in the Warrior Code, even if I wasn’t Squirrelflights daughter, even if I wasn’t from ThunderClan, if I stuck to the Warrior Code everything would turn out all right.. Wouldn’t it? Naive... So naive.

As you could guess Ashfur never let it go, he had a new weapon to hurt Squirrelflight, and he came up with a plan to make her suffer. We found out his plan soon enough, he was going to announce the secret to every Clan cat at the gathering!

We were all scared, me especially, what would everyone do? Would we have to leave the Clan? But more than that after the recent fight with WindClan and RiverClan over taking in outsides, How would they react if they knew we might be Rouges or Kittypets?

I could not let Ashfur do it, What if they attacked ThunderClan because of me? We didn’t know who our parents were but I knew that the other Clans would not take the news lightly, if ThunderClan was attacked because of me, I.. I didn’t want to think about it!

What did I do? I did the unthinkable, all I cared about was protecting my Clan, it was all I had left! So.. I found Ashfur in the forest, I stalked him like a juicy piece of prey and I killed him!

Don’t look at me like that! I did what had to be done, I had to protect the Clan!

When the Clan found out he was killed, everyone wanted to know who did it. At first they thought it was WindClan, he was found on the border after all, but no in the end they realised it wasn’t, and the blame fell on Sol! The loner who tried to destroy the Clans who was seen in the area at the time, it seemed like a perfect fit, who else could it have been? No one suspected me. But Sol had left the forest, so a patrol went on a search for him and brought him back as a prisoner, only for him to escape later. I suppose I was lucky, as they still suspected him, but decided he wasn’t worth the effort and just let him go.

Was that the end? Well of course not mouse-brain! What happened next was something that I couldn’t even imagine, something that I never even considered in my darkest dreams!

I confronted Leafpool, she was with Squirrelflight when she returned to camp with us as Kits, when she lied to the Clan saying we were hers! So she must have known where we came from right?

Did she know? Ha! Oh she knew all right. I asked her to tell me everything she knew, I was surprised when she told me she knew I killed Ashfur, I..I wanted to deny it, I didn’t want to do it, but I did it for the Clan! I did what had to be done!

Or at least that is how I felt before what she told me next. She told me who my mother was.

Who was it? You can’t guess? It was her you mouse-brain! A Medicine Cat! My mother was a Medicine Cat! I..I couldn’t believe it, if..if that was true, then my life, my birth, my very existence should never have happened! The Warrior Code forbids Medicine Cats from having Kits!

After learning that, I lost everything, my faith in the Warrior Code, the last thing driving me, gone, meaningless.

There was only one thing I wanted after that, and that was to find out who my Father was, Leafpool wouldn’t tell me, she probably wished she never said anything, but I found out soon enough anyway.

Jayfeather had a dream, StarClan told him our fathers name by showing him a..a Crow’s Feather! Yes my father was Crowfeather, a WindClan cat, a cat from another Clan! And a horrible one too, not that that even matters anymore.

The Warrior Code, the one thing I could trust above all else had been shattered. My mother was a Medicine Cat and my Father was from another Clan. My birth broke the Warrior Code!

I had nothing else to lose, just by living in the Clan I broke the Warrior Code, I never should have been born! What was I suppose to do? I lost everything, I had nothing left, so I gave up.

Everything I had done, working hard for my Clan, trying to live up to the Prophecy I was never even part of, killing Ashfur all meant nothing anymore, I just didn’t care anymore!

I wasn’t part of the Prophecy? Of course not! That was obvious, I didn’t have a power and even if I did I couldn’t stay!

What did I do? What did I do? Secrets! Secrets! This all happened because of stupid secrets! No more! No more hiding! I didn’t care anymore!

We went to the gathering and that is where I told everyone, I told them who my Mother was and who my Father was! The faces of the cats was a sight to see, but I didn’t care anymore, Why should I protect anyone? So what if I hurt ThunderClan! So what if I hurt Leafpool! I was no longer a Clan cat, how could I be when I should not exist?

I ran back to camp where Leafpool found me, she told me she forgave me, forgave me? Ha! No, I didn’t want forgiveness, nothing mattered anymore, I wanted revenge I wanted her to suffer, she was the cause of everything! She broke the Warrior Code! She lied to me and everyone!

I told her to eat deathberries! She looked at me and said that living with her pain would make her suffer more than death. Ha, I excepted that and left, but not just because I wanted her to suffer, I just didn’t care, I gave up, there was nothing left for me, whether she was alive or dead wouldn’t change anything so I just ran!

I ran to the underground tunnels, Jayfeather and Lionblaze found me and tried to stop me. I told them I could never return, I told them I killed Ashfur, there was nothing left there for me! I just ran! I ran into the tunnels and as I did the tunnel collapsed, I thought I was going to die, a final sign from StarClan! My punishment! Taking back the life that never should have been!

But no, I survived.. maybe this is my punishment, to live with everything I know, everything that happened, everything I did....

Hmm..

I have lived in these tunnels for many moons now, alone with my thoughts, and I have nothing but regrets. I hated Leafpool, I hated Squirrelflight and I.. want to hate them.. but I, after being alone with my thoughts for so long can finally understand them, they did what they thought was best for the Clan and for me.... They didn’t want to hurt me....

I can’t hate them anymore, after everything, all my hate.

I WAS SELFISH OK!

I never considered what they went through, I only cared about myself!

I am sorry... I am so sorry...I am sorry Ashfur! I am sorry Squirrelflight! And I am sorry Leafpool! but I can’t take back what I have done, I can never return..

I don’t how the Clans remember me, did they learn I killed Ashfur? Ha! I bet Jayfeather and Lionblaze kept my secret, one last secret...... Do they know I survived? I doubt it. No, they can’t, I must be forgotten!

This is my punishment... to walk these tunnels with these shadows until my time comes.....

Well that is my story, are you satisfied? Now kindly leave me alone.
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