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Thrushpelt's True FeelingsThis a fanfiction short story written by myself WhiteTiger. It is written in a similar style to the short story by Victoria Holmes 'Spottedleaf's Honest Answer' (View or Download it here).
I decided to write this as I feel Thrushpelt was left out, he was so kind to Bluestar and he never really got looked at, so this is a story from his perspective.
Thrushpelt's True Feelings
Hello there young one and welcome to StarClan, it’s nice to have a visitor. You are certainly a long way from home, but don’t worry it isn’t your turn to stay here, you can return home soon.
Now then I heard you have come to ask me a question?
Ahh I should have guessed what it would be, you wish to know more about my feelings for Bluestar do you? Well ok I will share, but not here I don’t want all of StarClan to hear, especially not Bluestar!
Follow me. There now take a seat over there on the grass, this is my favourite spot, I often come here to think, you see how we can see all over StarClan? It is a beautiful place isn’t it? Yes, yes the question I know. Are you comfy? Good, then I will begin.
I was a few moons older than Bluestar, I was a young Warrior when she became an Apprentice, but that never mattered to me. I quickly noticed Bluestar or Bluepaw as she was known then, she was a strong and skilled Apprentice and I respected her. When she became a Warrior she was given the name Bluefur, and I had truly started to care for Bluefur, I suppose I didn’t hide my feeling very well, as it seems the whole Clan could tell how much I liked her except Bluefur herself that is!
She didn’t have an easy life; she lost her mother in a fight against WindClan, after our Medicine Cat said we needed to attack them to stop them invading us first. Many of the Clan thought that Goosefeather, that was our Medicine Cat, was crazy and that the fight never should have happened. But however it happened losing her mother as a young Apprentice really hurt Bluepaw, her sister Snowpaw was hurt too but Bluepaw took it the hardest. She was devastated, she distanced herself from the Clan for a long time, I wish I could have comforted her, but I couldn’t help her, she needed to move on herself and she did after a time.
She and her sister grew into strong Warriors, they were very close sisters, especially after losing their mother. Snowfur which was Snowpaw’s Warrior name soon found her own mate in Thistleclaw, I wished Bluefur would notice me in the same way, but sometimes she didn't even seem to know I existed!
Bluefur seemed to show an odd hostility towards Thistleclaw, I never really understood that, he was a strong and loyal Warrior. I thought maybe it was because he took her sister away from her when they had been so close, and maybe that meant she wasn’t interested in finding a mate, but I still had hope.
Later Bluefur had more suffering ahead of her; Snowfur had just had Thistleclaw’s kits, which again made me envious, Bluefur was the same as always still, oblivious to me! She took her out hunting one day so she could stretch her legs after being stuck in the nursery. But they ran into ShadowClan Warriors who were stealing out prey! I wish I was there I wouldn’t let them get away with it! They chased them away, but Snowfur wanted more, she chased them onto the Thunderpath separating ThunderClan and ShadowClan territory, but she was preoccupied with the ShadowClan cats, she didn’t notice a monster coming and she was hit. She died instantly on the Thunderpath. It was a horrible thing to happen, I could hardly believe it when I heard about it. Bluefur as you can guess was again devastated, she was so depressed, she rarely talked to anyone after that. If only I could have been closer to her maybe I could have helped, but again I had to watch as she had to find her own way onwards.
Bluefur eventually moved on and became a devoted Warrior again, she seemed more determined to help her Clan, I think she felt it was all she had left. She still had me! Or so I had wished. She sometimes seemed distracted still, I thought perhaps she was still thinking of her loss, but it seemed more than that, she seemed to have something bigger hanging over her, it wasn’t until I finally joined StarClan that I learned the truth, but I will get to that later.
I never gave up on Bluefur, I loved her even if she never felt the same about me, I wanted to care for her. Then came a surprise, a surprise that truly broke my heart. Bluefur was expecting Kits! No they weren’t mine! Have you not been listening, she still barely knew I was alive! Sorry I shouldn’t have snapped like that, but you can guess I was upset to hear she had found another mate.
The Clan knew how I felt about her; I didn't even bother trying to hide it, they all assumed I was the father and didn’t question it. I didn’t know who the father was. Yes of course I wanted to know! She never showed a special interest in any tom, so I had no idea who it could be.
Did this make me angry? No, I could never be angry at Bluefur, I loved her. I would never want her to do anything other than follow her heart, but it still hurt! I spoke to Bluefur once the Clan learned of her Kits and she told me how she was sorry and she knew I would have been a good mate. I sensed her regret, I think she meant it and really did feel sorry that she didn’t share my feelings, but love isn’t something that can be forced, she needed to follow her heart and no matter how much I love her I can’t make her feel the same.
She never said who the father was, and I never asked her, she had her reasons to keep it a secret and I respected her wishes. I offered to act as her mate so the Clan would not show suspicion. Why? Even though I knew she could never be my mate, I still cared for her; I wanted to help her even if I didn’t know the truth.
However Bluefur’s suffering had not ended yet, she gave birth to three Kits Mosskit, Mistykit and Stonekit, and they were beautiful! I loved them as if they were my own. But shortly after their birth they disappeared from the nursery. We discovered a hole in the back of the nursery and assumed a fox had taken them; we all searched but found no trace of them anywhere. I couldn’t believe such a thing could happen! I thought that this would break Bluefur, she was a strong cat, but she had suffered more than any cat I have ever known, she had lost everyone close to her, surely another loss would destroy her? But Bluefur remained strong; she remained a strong and loyal Warrior. I was happy to see she was strong after such a loss, but it did seem odd to me, she was so lost after losing her mother and sister I really thought she would be devastated after another loss, but she stayed so strong. I thought maybe there was more to it, but decided that no, she had grown and didn’t let herself get controlled by grief anymore, and this just made me love her all the more.
Bluefur soon became Deputy, I was so proud of her, I could see her determination, she was completely devoted to her Clan. She would become a powerful Leader and lead her Clan well. And she did, she become Leader after Sunstar passed away and she was one of the best Leaders ThunderClan will ever know!
It wasn’t until I joined StarClan that I learned the true sorrow Bluestar had gone through. As a young Warrior she had been destined by Goosefeather to become the next Deputy. He said that if she did not become the next Deputy and then Leader, Thistleclaw would become Deputy and later Leader instead. Why was this bad? Yes Thistleclaw was a strong and loyal Warrior, but he was bloodthirsty, he was too quick to jump into battle. If he became Leader, the Clan would be destroyed in a lake of blood! Or so Goosefeather said. She became devoted to becoming Deputy and this meant no mate to distract her! Is that why she ignored me? No, I don’t think she would do that to me, she just never had feelings for me, she wanted to become Deputy, but she wasn’t like that, she cared for all of her Clan and would never openly hurt anyone.
Her destiny wasn’t so easily achieved though. She fell in love with a RiverClan cat called Oakheart. Isn't that forbidden? Yes, having mates in other Clans is forbidden in the Warrior Code, but love isn’t always that simple. She knew it was wrong, she only met with him once at fourtrees where they decided they could not meet again and could never be mates. But even meeting once was a mistake which Bluefur soon payed for when she had her Kits. Yes her Kit’s father was Oakheart! Why did having Kits matter? A Deputy needs to be focused and have to fulfil their responsibilities; a nursing queen couldn’t do that!
Bluefur had a hard decision, to choose to protect her Clan or her Kits. No cat could envy her decision, but Bluefur had to choose. She chose to save the Clan; she took the Kits from the nursery, making it look like a fox took them by ripping a hole in the back of the den. She sure fooled me! Was I angry that she lied? No, she did what she thought needed to be done; in fact I was actually happy that they weren’t killed by foxes.
Where did she take them? She took them to Oakheart in RiverClan. But it was Leafbare and Mosskit died from the cold after travelling through the snow. This made Bluefur regret her decision to take the Kits, but it could not be undone, she had to move forward. She buried Mosskit and took Mistykit and Stonekit onward. They made it to RiverClan safely. Oakheart looked after them with a nurseing queen called Graypool, she never questioned Oakheart when she took them, but she could smell they were from ThunderClan.
They grew into strong RiverClan Warriors, Stonefur, as Stonekit was known as a Warrior was later killed and resides here in StarClan, but Mistystar, Mistykit's new Leader name is now the proud leader of RiverClan!
I died when Bluestar was in the prime of her leadership, I saw her become a strong Leader and was happy for her. However there was still more tragedy that was to befall on her. She lost several Deputies, Redtail died in a battle with RiverClan and Lionheart was killed in a raid by ShadowClan. She then chose her next Deputy, Tigerclaw. She was warned by Fireheart that he was evil and he accused him of killing Redtail. He was right! Tigerclaw betrayed the Clan killing Redtail hoping to become Deputy and then trying to kill Bluestar herself so he could become Leader. He failed and was banished from the Clan. However the emotional impact hit Bluestar harder than any battle blow could.
She had been destined to be a great Leader, she did what she thought needed to be done to save the Clan, but yet she had let a traitor destroy her clan, or that’s how she felt, she doubted herself as Leader, and started to doubt her decision to give up her Kits, she even lost her faith in StarClan! But who could blame her? She had suffered through so much! I had to watch from StarClan as she lost all her faith and lost all trust in her own Clan, afraid they would betray her like Tigerclaw did. It hurt me so much to see her in such a way and I wished I could jump down and save her, but I could not do anything other than watch!
Tigerclaw still seeked revenge, he tried many times to hurt ThunderClan and even managed to became the leader of ShadowClan! Tigerclaw, now Tigerstar tried to set a pack of dogs on the Clan! The Clan learned of his plan and evacuated the camp, while some brave Warriors baited the dogs away. Seeing her Clan work hard, protecting one another and seeing her Warriors risking their lives with the dogs made her realise that she was wrong to lose her trust in her Clan, and she was wrong to think StarClan had left her.
She was on her last life and went to help her Warriors, but when she got to the cliff they had planned to lead the dogs off of, she saw Fireheart, now her Deputy in the jaws of a dog! Her head now clear; she made her choice and charged at the dog knocking both the dog and herself off the edge! I watched this all from StarClan, I was so scared for her!
Fireheart tried to save her but the current of the river they landed in was too strong, as they were washed down the river they were saved by Mistypelt and Stonefur, Bluestars Kits! They had learned about Bluestar being their mother, they said they hated Bluestar and that she was not their real mother! This had hurt Bluestar deeply, she thought they would understand her decision, and that she had no choice. As they watched her lie on the river bed she begged their forgiveness, they decided they could no longer hold their grudge and forgave her. She died on the river bed finally at peace, I wanted to go and bring her to StarClan myself, but I knew it wasn’t my place, Oakheart went and brought her to us and she has been with StarClan ever since.
She has still felt pain even here. She watched Stonefur die at the paws of Blackfoot, when Tigerstar tried to take over the forest, he was killed for being a Half-Clan cat, that is a cat with parents from two Clans, how could anyone be so evil! No one can control their birth. It was horrible for Bluestar to watch such a thing, but she was as powerless as I have been when watching over her. She brought Stonefur to StarClan and he now stays with us here as well.
She is here in StarClan now and watches over her former Clan just as she did when she was alive. She is an unbelievable cat who survived through so much pain, ThunderClan were lucky to have her in its ranks. I will always love her, I do not hate her for her choices, she always did what she thought was right and followed her heart which makes me love her all the more. Not all love has a happy ending, but I would not want it any other way.
Well that is my story! I hope that answers your question. Do not speak of this to anyone, especially not Bluestar! Now come little one, its time you went home!
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